Time...

Its really hard when you go and leave me alone. I feel I am a machine during the day and when the evening comes, the only thing that gives me satisfaction is covering all my deepest black thoughts with false laughter and stupid actions. I go out to make time pass. Or I stay at home and sleep. Sleep has become the only place to run and hide. And I fall asleep alone, hearing the noises of my neighbours fighting and shouting, having a feeling of fear as I close my eyes. Everytime I hope I'll dream of you. But in the morning I wake up and remember nothing. Then I let go of myself into the crowdness of problems and deceptions that occure during daylight.
Sometimes, I know you are thinking of me, as I find the sun, bright as an orange, in the sky. And the sun's smile keeps me alive! Only the thought that maybe you have sent this sun to shine at me, gets me through the day.
I can not lie and tell you that I don't count the minutes until you are back into my arms, but the only thing I have left is to put my head on the pillow, close my eyes and see myself how I gentle move my hand through your gray silvery hair...
...'Till soon, my love! 'Till soon....

From one transition to another...

...in the end, i am still melancolic. Yeah, for those times when i was at 05:00 AM crosing the main street of this chaotic city of mine-Bucharest, with a bunch of pals, with a glas in my hand that was stolen from a club we have just leaved from. Oh well, those were endless and sleepless summer nights that are still present in my memory. And i want them back! I want the smell of the grass that i was longing to smell every morning. I want the sun to burn my skin and to make me blind, so i can not open my eyes. I want the sunrisae to chatch me walking arround on the beach, with the sand up to my knees and the wind blowing in my full of salt and curly hair. I want back the times when i didn't have Facebook - by the way, i think this site is the updated and stiled model of our old friend HI5 - and internet everywhere, the times when i used to leave word at my parents that i'll be back in 2 days, yet comming back home in 5 nights, drunk and happy. I wish i had back the emotion of the first kiss, the first sunrise and the first trip abroad.
But most of all, i wish i had back the lost friends, even if they went out of my life for different reasons. When i see some of the, in random moments, i am blocked. Wishing for comunication, but yet again only a glimpse of an eye is sometimes enough.
We loose time uploading our private life on internet, fighting on streets when driving, investing time in hearing all kind of shit stories and in the end, when we come home to our families/lovers we have nothing to talk about our own lives. Big mistake. There is no button we can push on the keyboard, that could make all go away. There is no link we can access, no ESC for our human mistakes.
Right now my life is by the clock.
Sleep, work, eat, sleep.
In need of transition and some sparkle of hope to leave all not so important things behind, i whish you all a nice time untill we meet again, here.

Sori

i don't want to...

I don't want to wash you off of my skin...
i don't want to open the door of the kitchen and find that you are not there making breakfast...
i don't want to come home and find no red wine glass waiting for me ...
i don't want to wake up in the morning and find no traces of clothes thrown on the floor...
i don't want you not to want me when i'm crazy...
i don't want to make love when the music is not on...

...and for sure i don't want you not to want me.

winter 2010

A little tired...

Sorry for not writing since a few days. Actually, a few weeks. Basically i don't want to admit to myself that i am tired, but i am. I did the mistake of putting work ahead of myself and now i receive what i deserve. Bearly capable of focusing, i salute you all, from the 4th floor, Corner of Neverland and Sleeping Bulevard...

Ps: comming soon to post some pics from my winter holiday...

Nani!

Live from another Galaxy....

Happy new Year....
Right now i am in Bremen, Germany.
I am on the road since 7 days and frankly speaking i really want to go home...as i miss home. I have my heart there. Untill this will happen i want to tell you about the places i have been. I started with the 27.12.09 ß Bremen. Small city, very well organised, nice young people everywhere. The next day i started the trip to Berlin...Berlin My Love. I was suprised of this city as i was never before. Later i will upload some pictures. i walked aound for 12 hours continuosly and couldn't feel my feet after this. IMPRESSIVE CITY!!! Spent there 1 night and 1 day, leaving with the promise that in summer i will come back to fully see it.
On the 30 we started to Prague, Cehia. As arrived in the hotel, situated close to the center, i discovered the nice buldings and areas of Prague. From there i have a lot of pictures also. Spent there 2009-2010 night in the middle of the city, with thousands of oher people, nice fireworks, etc.
After Prague, i am back in Bremen. And writing now on my blog, with the hope that these 2 days in Bremen will not be that long and pass quickly, as i can go home to where MY HEART IS!

tchuss - as the germans say...tchuuuusssss ....

Smile, it can happen...

Good evening...Good night...Good times or even good people, they all make me think about how to keep them close to me.
These days i haven't been much at home, and let me say i did not miss it so much. And now that i am at home, i put my feet up on the desk, light up a cigarette and start writing...Writing about how this last period of time has been for me. I don't even know how to describe it, because there is so much to tell.
And all these things are not related to what's going on arround me - which is not much: same people i see at work, same people i try to meet in the evening. They are comming from inside myself, because i started to generate things. Now i have again made it possible to take from inside, to the light. And i'm talking this time about love, hapyness, joy and a lot of positive matters. The other dark bad stuff can go directly to hell, or whereever their place is.

And yes, i am madly in love. So nice... SO NICE!!! Tonight i was talking to Ana. Ana is my friend. She's young and so sincere. I quote:

'Love makes me complete, i hate the fact that at this moment i have nobody to think about, that i have nobody in my heart. Love motivates me and i have no urge to do things anymore.'

I was listening to her and couldn't answer her anything. She was so right!!! Love is trully a motivation for me, for her, and could be also for you - the one that is reading. One of the facts that happend to me this year was love. Maybe i learned how to take it serious this time, from my part. Maybe i have learned how to treat love in a mature way, not like a child, although i'm flying through the days and everything seams perfect...

Everyday i see people that live a hard life but keep their smile on. I decided to ask one how does he manage. He told me that his daughter died 2 years ago, he has not so much money and his wife is in hospital, close to the end. And then he said ' I smile because this is the way i am. If i were not to smile, i would also die like all of them!' And he loves his wife very much and that is what makes him go on and on everyday! Love....

Being alone for a long time made me a little rough, although my life was a perfect one. I was lucky and had everything. Now i also have a good soul, because love reopened me. Discovering what is inside us takes a lot of time and a great deal of courage. There are moments when i am scared of myself. It's part of the game. It can happen that you are dissapointed in people or with yourself, but nobody is perfect. And also not yourself. You can be bad or good. The result is the one important. And when i say this i do not mean it in an egoistical point of view. It's just that we have only 1 life, too bad this passes so quickly. I for one decided to make the best of it. I don't know what will happen later. But the result for this year seems not so bad...

And, by the way : the fact that i will dance alone for this Christmas is not going to bring me down, but will build inside me a stronger Sori...

Wish you all the best...really all the best!

Don't brake my glasses....

Don't brake my glasses...

I can feel you holding my hand at night when we sleep,
i can feel all those feelings you told they are deep.
I can see us running around in the park
with our shadows going into the dark.

I lay awake and dream that we are
I see the beach, and us by far
Love making in the sun, i'd say
this should be our only way.

The night comes over me again,
So i put the glasses away.
Will search as blind as i am, for you
Will search untill i am through...

Here's to you, Old City....

These days have been quietly passing through...
When finally deciding to take a day off from work, i went to enjoy a half of day long trip 'in this sometimes beutiful city' Bucuresti. Have't been since half a year in the Old City, in the center, i took my car and park it somewhere close to it. Wondering on the streets and the small corner shops of the Old Center, i found places like art galleries, tea houses, small theaters, coffe shops, clubs from which i had no ideea that they exist. The smell of 'old' was tinckling my sences as i walked through my evening spree. A lot of people running from one street to another, God only knows what they were looking for. Eventually i got lost. So i decided to stop. I stood in the middle of the main street and looked arround: at my right there was this old man playng the guitar, creating nice sounds and atmosphere for an early Friday evening. At my left there were this young street kids playing footbal and running arround. I lighted up a cigarette, stood down on a rock and enjoyed the fuziness that was arround me. Coulours of dark grey and brown were surrounding me, giving this feeling of '20 s old movie, with no sound. The art galeries were full of people of their own kind. Not ordinary people, but art creative people.
After getting up from the brick and being finished with wondering arround, shopping tea and art stuff, i went into the direction of where my car was parked. Before exiting the area i bumped into this model that was in front of the Comedy Theatre. He was just staying there dressed very military. As much as he had no voice, his expression was one of stillness and peace. I tried some conversation with him, but nothing happend in the end. So, most that i could do was to take him a small picture and walk away from the Old City, leaving behind all the feelings and impressions i had for half of a day...

2 in 1

PLAY BEFORE READING....


2 in 1 - this is what everybody wants in life. Starting from detergent, ending with our personal life.
But 2 in 1 is not easy to create. People search for this feeling everyday, and maybe they find it. But their search is not intentionally. They are guided by their hearts, not their minds. And what I'm writing about is not a pattern, because it can happen. YES, IT CAN HAPPEN! 2 in 1 is not a love story you see when going to the movies at the mall. It is not when you see a couple on the street kissing and hugging. 2 in 1 is something you can be lucky to feel. When you get to this point, then you don't take into consideration other things that belong to the mind. Because this is the moment when your heart, your full of wishes heart is beating like a drum and kicks out the mind. This is about your soul.
Being alive is a gift not everybody has. Some don't even get the chance to see the light of day, some hold their lovers hand before death, using their last breath to show how they feel. Some people say that when '2 in 1' happens, this is a stage of temporary insanity. But what a nice feeling this 'insanity' is! Takes you from the ground 0 and makes you fly above all the others! Makes the passion inside you burst over all thoughts and fears that your mind keeps hidden. And then, must you not have fear! Must you not keep hidden how you feel, but act exactly how you want. You will get lost in this feeling. Nobody will judge...
When you give a rose to a woman, give not one, but two. One will be for her love, and the other will be for her forever friendship. And as you will grow old in age, maybe you will find out that people around you change. Also you will change. What will not go away will be this '2 in 1', that keeps you alive!

My post ends like this: God gave man 2 hands, 2 eyes, 2 legs, but He gave us only ONE HEART! Why? .... Because the other heart is for us to find.

now...i go to sleep. usually people fall asleep to dream, because dreams are nicer than reality. Well, i have passed this moment. Now i am living what i had dreamed about!
...Noape Buna!

Guess who's commin' to town...

Yes, finally.... http://www.iconcert.ro/concert-diana-krall-la-bucuresti.html

See you there!!!

Leave EGO outside your feelings...

People get separated one from eachother. This is the way life goes. Some periods are short but some are long. And, because we are human, we were born with this feeling inside our hearts and minds - we feel that we miss persons we love, we live with, or we only get to know for a short period. We were programed to live with this feeling inside us. But what God didn't program was the way people show this to the others... Therefore, nobody can judge a forbidden 'I miss you' said in a moment of total sincerity, or in a moment when we let our great Ego asside. Ego makes me tired. Ofcourse, it is so nice for the heart when this words come back to your ears, making you feel you have no guilt of feeling this inside. Some other people keep this feeling inside untill they are full of it, they become sad and they take the decision to burst it out. So they find simple or complicated solutions.
We all hear about big love stories, we all listen to them, but never take the time to take care of our own. 'I miss you' is a proof of feelings of great value, kept inside of a human, that can bearly find the courage to say it out loud....

PUBLIKA - FYI

Follow Publika...

Baby did a bad, bad thing...

' -Who's Baby?
-Baby's ...cold. Baby's running to the point of no return. Baby's hiding away, in the corner of her weakend soul.
-Why, Baby?
-Baby did a bad, bad thing.... '

So, she got up from the bed, took her bag and ran outside in the world. Too much thoughts, too much narrow streets, too many shadows of the past behind her. Baby runs with no direction.

' -Where to, Baby?'

Baby stops.
' -It's time Baby stops. Baby stop! Stop, i said! '
Now she's HOME, no lights, no wind, only solitude and a whisper of a nice memory...

where is the sun, i need for my hearth ???

Nobody will be like him...

...and i will be there to listen and learn!

Again..home is where the sea is...

I am leaving again to the seaside. This might be one of the last trips there. But i keep my hope that this is not true...
Expecting this to happen, i salute you...


Sori.

Let Love Rule...

I really enjoyd the weather from the last days. It was not too hot, but not too cold. Perfect for my feelings. My feelings of love, hate, memories and happy thoughts. I became nostalgical and reminiced times that are now in the past forever. I let them there, because to me they are now only memories. That's what the past becomes - memories. People change their life with simple words or by following short instincts. People decide what is good for them with only one blink of an eye. This way they start to love eachother, maybe children are born, families come together and life evoluates. But at some point you stop and wonder: How did i come here? When did all this things happen? What was i doing with my life? If you are lucky enough to find a way of life that you love, then you must be lucky enough to find also the courage to start living it!
Remember when you were in love for the first time? It was very hard to put an end to it, but after that the love went away and you didn't even notice... Or maybe the first love you had is right now standing beside you, looking at you with big eyes that give you the same feeling like at the beginning...
Love comes, Love goes. If you try to stop it, you become unhappy.

Let love rule...!!!

It's all in my head...

Katie Melua - It's all in my head....

Every night we fall into bed,
But it's all in my head.
Every night we fall in a heap,
And you kiss me to sleep.
And baby all the sleepy things you say,
Blow me away.
Till the next day,
When I find what we did and we said,
Was all in my head.
Every night you whisper to me,
This always will be.
Every night you smooth down my hair,
But you're not really there.
And darling it seems as if we know,
Our love will grow.
And then the next day,
I find what we did and we said,
It was all in my head.
Drowsy, drinking,
I keep thinking,
We're not far apart.
Scared of waking,
Lonely, aching,
Just me and my hopeless heart.

Sleeping soundly,
Your arms around me...

Sweet..../ Dulce...

Sweet

The song went like this, right? "Sweets for my sweet, sugar for my honey". Am I writing about this because I'm just craving for some sweets? I know we all have cravings. And there is nothing better than that sweet mixture that comes to the rescue. A cake, a lollipop, maybe even an icecream can help sweeten the bitterness of certain situations. Sweets oftenly represent the ace up one's sleeve, "the cherry on top of the cake", the surprise element of a well thought-out meal. Some housewives cannot imagine not preparing something for desert at least once a week. But still, this habit has begun to disappear, perhaps because of the multitude of fast-food, restaurants or of the frozen foods we use or the little time we give ourselves each day for eating. We deserve to spoil ourselves and get away from the monotony of fries and steak, don't we? Do you remember the fudge candy or Cip? The Serbet and the Cremsnit? To some, these things used to represent moments of total relaxation, perhaps quality time spent with friends or lovers, at a confectionary in the corner of a street or in the livingroom. One thing is for sure: mother's cake will always taste the best!

Si in dulcea limba romaneasca:

Dulce

Parca asa era nu? "Sweets for my sweet, sugar for my honey". Poate ca este un semn de pofta, daca va scriu despre dulce? Stiu ca toti avem pofte. Si nimic nu este mai indicat decat acea solutie salvatoare, care ne imbata gusturile, dulcele. O prajitura, o acadea, poate chiar si o inghetata, este modul in care putem cateodata sa indulcim amarul unei situatii sau al unui moment. Dulcele reperzinta de foarte multe ori, asul din maneca, "cireasa de pe tort", sau elementul supriza al unei mese bine pregatite. Unele gospodine nici nu concep sa nu pregateasca o prajitura sau o atentie macar o data pe saptamana. Dar acest obicei a cam disparut, poate din cauza aglomeratiei de fast food-uri, sau din cauza semipreparatelor sau a putinului timp pe care il acordam mesei zilnice. Papilele noastre gustative merita sa fie si ele rasfatate, merita sa iasa din monotonia cartofului prajit cu friptura, nu? Mai tineti minte bomboanele fondante, sau bombonelele Cip? Serbetul si Cremshnit-ul? Pentru unii aceste lucruri reprezentau odata momente de relaxare, poate chiar momente de calitate petrecute cu partenerul de viata sau familia, la o cofetarie in coltul strazii, sau in sufragerie. Cert este un lucru, pentru fiecare dintre noi: Tortul mamei va fie cel mai bun intotdeauna!!!