Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Smile, it can happen...

Good evening...Good night...Good times or even good people, they all make me think about how to keep them close to me.
These days i haven't been much at home, and let me say i did not miss it so much. And now that i am at home, i put my feet up on the desk, light up a cigarette and start writing...Writing about how this last period of time has been for me. I don't even know how to describe it, because there is so much to tell.
And all these things are not related to what's going on arround me - which is not much: same people i see at work, same people i try to meet in the evening. They are comming from inside myself, because i started to generate things. Now i have again made it possible to take from inside, to the light. And i'm talking this time about love, hapyness, joy and a lot of positive matters. The other dark bad stuff can go directly to hell, or whereever their place is.

And yes, i am madly in love. So nice... SO NICE!!! Tonight i was talking to Ana. Ana is my friend. She's young and so sincere. I quote:

'Love makes me complete, i hate the fact that at this moment i have nobody to think about, that i have nobody in my heart. Love motivates me and i have no urge to do things anymore.'

I was listening to her and couldn't answer her anything. She was so right!!! Love is trully a motivation for me, for her, and could be also for you - the one that is reading. One of the facts that happend to me this year was love. Maybe i learned how to take it serious this time, from my part. Maybe i have learned how to treat love in a mature way, not like a child, although i'm flying through the days and everything seams perfect...

Everyday i see people that live a hard life but keep their smile on. I decided to ask one how does he manage. He told me that his daughter died 2 years ago, he has not so much money and his wife is in hospital, close to the end. And then he said ' I smile because this is the way i am. If i were not to smile, i would also die like all of them!' And he loves his wife very much and that is what makes him go on and on everyday! Love....

Being alone for a long time made me a little rough, although my life was a perfect one. I was lucky and had everything. Now i also have a good soul, because love reopened me. Discovering what is inside us takes a lot of time and a great deal of courage. There are moments when i am scared of myself. It's part of the game. It can happen that you are dissapointed in people or with yourself, but nobody is perfect. And also not yourself. You can be bad or good. The result is the one important. And when i say this i do not mean it in an egoistical point of view. It's just that we have only 1 life, too bad this passes so quickly. I for one decided to make the best of it. I don't know what will happen later. But the result for this year seems not so bad...

And, by the way : the fact that i will dance alone for this Christmas is not going to bring me down, but will build inside me a stronger Sori...

Wish you all the best...really all the best!

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